emotional jet lag

I am back and my blogs got progressively less consistent toward the end of my trip. Since Thursday night when I returned, I have been trying to sit down and write a blog entry but to no avail. It wasn’t time or energy I lacked. I simply was finding it hard to know where to start. I was back in church Sunday and preached about the way that anxiety and worry drains one of the joy and peace that can be found in the present moment. I had a preaching professor once that said you should never “work out your own ’stuff’ in the pulpit”. I kind of broke that rule this week because my sermon was in many ways a self-reflection. My trip was wonderful in many ways, but all the time alone with myself helped me see several things more clearly. One of them was just how much I let anxiety and worry dictate my life. It was serendipitous perhaps that the lectionary passage this week came from Paul’s letter to the Philippians in which he addressed their anxiety and worry.

When people return from a big trip, they often talk about jet lag, that extreme fatigue that comes from traveling great distances. But I think there is sort of an emotion jet lag that comes from any big trip also. It was as if the trip gave me so much to think about that my mental processor is backlogged with input that needs to be thought about. People have been asking me, “How was your trip?” I am grateful for their interest and yet don’t know how to begin answering the question. It was great, it was thought provoking, it changed my faith, it made me question myself, it was stressful, it was relaxing – it was all that and more. I even found it difficult to write a sermon because there was so much to wade through.

I suspect I am not alone in this feeling. There are times when I think all of us get emotional jet lag, where our emotional processing is a bit behind and needs to do some catching up. My hope is that I can use this blog over the next few weeks to share with you about my trip, what it made me think about, and what implications it will have for my ministry. I share this in the hopes that in my own reflection, you may find a new lens with which to think about your own journey in faith.

the shadow of greatness

Sorry for the lack of pictures in my last few posts. I haven't been able to get them to upload but I will make up for it here. I arrived in Rome where I have been busy. The very first trip I made was to Vatican city where I toured the art galleries, the square, St. Peter's Basillica (including the Pieta) and of course, the Sistine Chapel. Like all famous places, there is a bit of the surreal when you enter. I have seen Michaelangelo's famous ceiling paintings and sculptures in books, I have read about the magnificence of his work. But there is something about actually being in the space that cannot be replicated, no matter how many pictures one studies or art books one reads.

I am going to keep my post short today. I reflected on so many things yesterday and I am finding it difficult to wrap words around my thoughts. I guess what I would like to share is how much I have reflected on greatness. I think if I am honest with myself, I want to help create something truly great. In the shadow of amazing art, enormous structures, beautiful architecture, and the truly great people of history - I cannot help to consider my own contribution to the world. Have you ever thought about greatness? There are surely times when my desire to be or do something great comes from an unchecked pride, a sort of arrogance and conceit. At other times, I think the desire to be great mirrors the hope that we will be remembered for something.

I suspose in my own humble way, I consider The Gathering part of my contribution. All of us who are a part of it have created something new and offered it to our city. It is something significant. But I think there is more left for me to do, more for us to do.

After looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, I cannot help but wonder what my contribution is going to be. Michaelangelo had a blank ceiling, paint, a work ethic that was unparalleled, and a lot of talent and vision - the result was a contribution worth remembering. What is my blank canvas, what is my medium, what is my vision and what are my gifts? These are questions I have been thinking about. They are questions I think we all should think about.

p.s. thanks to everyone who has posted. It has meant a lot to me to hear from you, but more so to hear your thoughts.

promises, promises

I apologize for my lack of blogging. It is harder, not to mention more expensive, to find an internet connection over here. I just arrived in Rome but I wanted to reflect on my time in Moscow. After visiting Voronezh, I spent two days in Moscow. It was a really important time. I had a chance to meet and speak briefly with the United Methodist bishop of Russia, along with a couple of pastors in the region. I visited the United Methodist seminary in Russia, visited a class, met ALL of the 7 students, and had time to sit and talk with the director of the seminary. I then visited several important Russian Orthodox churches in Moscow.

But it was one church that really made me think. Called the church of the Assumption, this beautiful Russian Orthodox sanctuary sits in the shadow of the old palaces of the tsars and emperors inside the Kremlin walls. It was here that each new ruler would be coronated. Walking in is an experience in and of itself. With no pews inhibiting movement (they worship standing up) one can walk all around. And you must. For all around the walls, columns, and ceilings are frescoes of icons that are hundreds of years old.

As you turn to leave, there is an enormous fresco above the door depicting Jesus at the last judgment. Below him is a serpent, on one side images depicting hell, on the other side heaven. Intrigued I ask my guide about the painting. She explained to me that when people come to church, they usually do two things. The first is people pray to God with thanksgivings and petitions. The second is they make promises to God, commitments of some sort. “God takes our promises seriously,” she explained. Therefore the fresco above the door reminds people that they ought to remember there promises, not just inside the church, but especially as they leave.

What powerful words. As I left, indeed for the rest of the day, I thought about the state of the promises I have made. Ones made to God, to my family, to my church, to myself. As you read I hope you reflect on the state of your promises. After all, God takes our promises seriously, and so should we.

connected

I finally arrived at a place with an internet connection. I have so much to say but want to share depth rather than breath. I visited today Resurrection United Methodist Church in Voronezh, Russia. Voronezh is a city of about 900,000. There are three United Methodist churches. Rev. Irina Mitina started a new congregation 12 years ago as a Bible study in rented space. They grew and were able to buy an old building in very bad condition. Through much hard work from the parishioners and from partner churches from the United States sending volunteers, Resurrection UMC converted an old building into a beautiful place for worship and small groups. I really was surprised to see what they have been able to accomplish.

But I was surprised by more than that. I was asked to preach at a Thursday night worship service at Resurrection. I had about 20 minutes to tuck away with a pen and paper and write a sermon the old fashioned way. When I get home, I want to re-preach it and record it for the web. It was such an honor to be asked to preach (apparently last minute invitations are quite common)...and intimidating. It was the first time I preached with a translator, I couldn't great the people without help, I found that I had to use shorter phrases and avoid slang that doesn't interpret well. I had to preach to a people in a much different context, where life is different and unfamiliar to me. And I had to prepare it all in 20 minutes.

But I will tell you that preaching that worship service was one of the most meaningful experiences of my career. I understood in that moment, not how different we were, but how connected we are. The songs were many of the same ones we sing (only in Russian), scripture the same, foundational questions of meaning, pain and purpose, the same. As I shared conversation with Rev. Irina at Resurrection, we talked about our churches. Certainly there were things that are different. The Gathering has more money, more people, more freedom of expression, more openness in the city to our message. But more than our differences, we discovered how much we have in common. We both have people bombarded with advertisements (Mama Mia the Russian version and iphones were my favorites), people trying to make ends meet financially, people in pain looking for forgiveness, people looking for depth of purpose in life. Students, older adults, poor, wealthy - our churches share so much. We also share many of the same obstacles, crime in the city, meth and crack destroying lives of people in our cities, educational systems in need of help and people that are so busy that time with God is often an after thought. At the end of our time together, Rev. Irina pulled me aside and thanked me. She then said, "Matt if you take anything back, remember to tell your people that the world is more connected than they think, we are more connected than you think. The decisions that individuals make in America have a profound effect on what happens here. The decisions that Christians make, that churches make in America, have an impact on us and our ministry. We are more connected than you think."

After being here, I believe her. We are more connected than you think. And for that reason each of us needs to remember the power we possess. You, your decisions, your choices, your commitments, your words, your lives have a power that effects the world! During our baptism ritual, after the water I make the sign of the cross on the person's forehead and say, "Just as Christ was anointed priest , prophet and king, so I anoint you to remember the power of your faith to impact lives, the power of your voice to change reality, and the power of your decisions to transform the world." I know now, that those are not empty words.

200 meter rule

Well, for those of you following this trip, I am in Voronezh, Russia sitting at Resurrection UMC. It is a new church started by pastor Irina Mitina about 12 years ago. It is in a pretty nondescript building but on the inside it is very nice. They now have about 50 people worshipping weekly. As I talk to her, I cannot get over the challenges and obstacles starting a new church in this city entail. We traveled yesterday out to Camp Voronezh. It is about 20 miles out of town (drive time 1 hour in the back of a van on something that resembled a seat). The camp is important to the three United Methodist churches in Russia. Besides being a typical place of fun, relaxation and learning for adults and children, it is also a place where the gospel can be safely shared. I say safely because the culture here is still not the friendliest toward outside religions.

Pastor Irina shared that the government is currently considering a law that would make it illegal for any church to "evangelize" or talk about religion further than 200 meters from their building. Can you think of what that would do to the church. I think of how many times we at The Gathering meet at coffee shops, have small groups in restaurants, or even the times I sit at Starbucks and talk with folks about the church. All such activity, under this new law, would be illegal. The camp would become even more important if this passes. It would be a safe place, outside of town,. where the church could invite those exploring Christianity to come and hear about these new kinds of religious communities.

There is much work that needs to be done at this camp, and much work that we could help greatly with. Most of it is construction of some sort, but also support of the staff and the kids that come here. I am still learning about the needs, but will include some pictures of the grounds. I hope some of you will begin thinking of joining me next year. I hope to return in late summer and help these emerging Methodist churches with their work.

I am short on computer time. My travels are going well. But I want you to think about the 200 meter rule. In America, we can talk about our faith anywhere, absolutely anywhere. What is strange (and a bit convicting) is that so often we don't. Here they want to talk about faith, but sometimes cannot. Ironic, isn't it?